When to use it
Use only when you want to reflect on an ordinary hurt and feel safe doing so, with trusted support available. Direct contact is not required.
How to use it
Choose one manageable situation and decide whether you want to try the exercise at all. A child should know which trusted adult is available and may choose to speak with that adult instead.
Use a chair, drawing or written page to represent the absent person if helpful. Keep clear that the conversation is imagined and cannot establish what that person actually thinks.
Describe what happened, why it hurt and what you wanted to say. Stay with what you remember rather than forcing more detail or treating imagined additions as facts.
Acknowledge your own actions only where there is a real basis to do so. You are not required to apologize for being harmed, cause another person’s apology, or excuse their behavior.
If it matches your choice, express a willingness to release a grievance or work toward forgiveness. You may say that you are not ready. Do not promise to forget facts, erase records or restore trust before it is safe.
Close the exercise, return to the present and identify a boundary or support need. The book allows work to be spread over days or weeks; feelings that return do not prove failure. Stop if the reflection becomes overwhelming.
A worked example
A practical illustration of the method.
After an ordinary argument, a learner imagines saying, “I felt left out when my idea was dismissed. I want to discuss turns next time.” They acknowledge that they shouted and plan to apologize for that specific action. They choose not to approach the other person yet and ask an adult to help arrange a respectful conversation later.
Use it thoughtfully
Imagined forgiveness from another person is not an actual apology or agreement.
Forgiveness does not require contact, affection, trust, secrecy or removing accountability.
Do not use this exercise to handle ongoing abuse alone or pressure someone to forgive on a deadline.
From the book
In an empty room, imagine the first person on your list sitting across from you (use a picture, empty chair, or stuffed animal if helpful)
A Complete Guide for Young Heroes · Chapter 39: Learning How to Forgive; manuscript body paragraph 1245 (one-based, including blank paragraphs)
Excerpt from the author’s current manuscript; page numbers vary by edition. The practical instructions on this page are companion guidance, not additional quoted text.
Related chapters in this book: 38, 39, 40, 41.
Practical website guidance based on the book. The quoted excerpt is verbatim; the surrounding instructions and examples are an original explanation. Story outcomes and metaphors are not scientific evidence or guaranteed results.
Put it into practice
Your next step
Use these prompts for a real situation or a made-up example. Younger readers can work with a trusted adult.
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